Comparison: A Guide to Protect Your Energy on Social Media
This post was written by Kirsten McNeill of Worthy Writers Editing.
Comparing your writer life on social media is a common practice. You see the carefully curated images. Some with filters, some with excellent lighting, and most without the view of the mess on the writing desk shoved just outside the frame.
In our social media feeds, many writers focus on everything that’s going well. The published books, the achieved word count goals, the five-star reviews, etc. It takes great courage and vulnerability to share the struggles to even write a sentence. Or family emergencies that have put your works-in-progress on the back burner.
Supportive Community vs. Competition
What would you rather experience in the online community? Complete dread or unrelenting celebration?
It’s easy to think about all the things you should be doing because you see others doing it. In turn, it’s easy to shame yourself and stress about how you’re not writing. That stress makes it challenging to get excited about your passion for writing.
That stress fuels your attitude to see other writers as competition instead of the community that writers are.
Catherine Toops granted permission to share this photo. Read her Facebook post on comparison here.
How to Protect Your Energy + Shift Into the Celebration Mindset
1. Limit Social Media Time Each Day
Social media platforms are designed to make you addicted to scrolling and the ding of a new notification. Be strict about how much time you spend on it each day. Give your brain a chance to calm and recuperate from staring at a screen.
2. Unfollow People
It is okay to unfollow people if their posts are creating negative thoughts or feelings for you. Unfollow accounts that already have thousands of followers and where comparing your writer life on social media has become toxic. If you still hope to support them one day, just mute their posts instead.
3. Shift Your Focus
If focusing on everything you haven’t done is making you unhappy, keep your focus on things you have done. Reflect on your accomplishments over the years since you began your writing career. Even something small like “chose what genre to write on X date” is an accomplishment. It all adds together to create your writing life.
4. Expand Your Focus
Being a writer is not all that you are. You are defined by many activities you love, the people in your life, and the experiences you’ve had right from birth. Keep a balance in your life with how much time you spend thinking about or actually doing the act of writing and other important aspects. Make a list or chart out how much energy you want to give to each aspect throughout the day.
5. Practice Gratefulness
Writing a simple list of what and who you’re grateful for can offer a quick shift into a positive mindset. If you’re always thinking ahead to what you want, you will struggle to genuinely appreciate the present moment. What are you lucky to have right in this moment?
6. Celebrate Your Community
You get what you give, so start celebrating others. The more you embrace this celebration, the happier and more relaxed you’ll feel. Be a cheerleader for your author community, and when it comes time to share your accomplishments, your community will return the favor.
7. Practice Patience
It’s not about if you will achieve your goals, but when. Your time will come, I promise you. No matter how many stories you want to write and books you want to publish, you will get there. Take small steps every day to build the writing career you desire. The big picture can get overwhelming, so ask yourself “What can I do right now to reach my goals?” Be consistent with asking yourself this whenever you feel stuck. Spending just five minutes a day is enough to move you toward reaching success.
8. Be Selfish & Do What’s Best for You
Everyone has their own journey to follow, so be selfish with it. Focus on what you want and go after it. As long as you’re doing it from a place of love and support, people will be on your side. There’s a difference between caring about yourself with unrelenting confidence and going out of your way to feel superior to others.
Be selfish. Be loud. Be confident.
What Does Comparing Do For Writers?
Comparing your writer life on social media makes you yearn for what you don’t have. It makes you feel bad for the current situation you’re in.
How often does it inspire writers to act and lead them to what’s good for them?
Are you using comparison to learn and grow as an individual or just to fit a square peg into a round hole to make someone else’s life work for you?
Never forget how valuable your unique journey is. Sure, you can try to publish a book every few months like you see Author X doing. Or you could focus on your needs and create a writing lifestyle that fills you with joy.
Be an authentic writer.
Create a writing lifestyle on your terms.
Your writing journey is going in the right direction, and you don’t need to compare yourself to others. Your stories are valuable. You have a purpose to create. You are a worthy writer.
Sincerely Yours,
Kirsten McNeill
Book Editor | Confidence Coach
About Kirsten McNeill
Kirsten McNeill is a Canadian book editor, confidence coach, podcaster, and creative entrepreneur. She loves empowering others to build a desirable writing life that fills them with passion and unrelenting confidence.
Explore everything she has to offer on her Worthy Writers website and subscribe to her newsletters for inspiration on your journey: www.worthywrtiters.ca/contact.
Follow her Instagram too: www.instagram.com/confident.kirsten.